Advice When Splitting Up
People break up for lots of different reasons. Really you know that you are not happy with the way things are. Knowing when to split can be the most difficult bit of a split up, so read on to spot the signs.
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•It’s Really Not Meant To Be : This can be merely nothing more than a personality clash – it isn’t anyone’s fault and you should tell him so. Maybe you got serious too quickly over a fling that was never going to be more than a passing affair? Putting them out of their misery sooner rather than later is the best bet, then. The longer you leave it the worse it will get.
• You No Longer Fancy Them : This can often be made worse when one party is still interested but the other no longer is. Don’t keep putting it off, you need to realize that you may have to split. Don’t totally destroy their confidence though, let them know that someone would love to have them, it’s just not you.
• There’s Somebody Else : If you can avoid it, it would be better not to say this, as it may be a potential source of needless distress to your boyfriend/girlfriend-if at all possible, as well, to keep the new man/woman low key at first to try and avoid upsetting them more. The thing is even if you hadn’t met someone else you know this would be the right thing to do, so focus upon that
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• They’ve Been With Someone Else : If you have found that your other half is cheating, this does make grounds for your separation simpler. You already have the moral highground, so being gratuitously dramatic or vindictive will achieve nothing.
• You Can’t Live With Them Or Live Without Them: You do really love your partner but you don’t seem to be able to get on with them on a day to day basis. If only you could have a more grown up relationship and not everything was a complete drama! If this is the case you may have to do some serious thinking about the continuation of your relationship. Are you spending too much time in each others company too rapidly. Maybe this is how things are going to be between the pair of you – fiery. If they are too high maintenance for your energy levels, it is time to think about exiting the relationship.
• Are They Stringing You Along : You want more and they do not live up to this. Perhaps you want to buy a home or start a family but they don’t. If after a period of time you cannot see yourself ever compromising on these life milestones, then it is time to face up to a break up. If it is you who feels stressed by your partners dreams, the same applies -it is not fair to string someone along if you are unable to give a commitment - be honest.
Especially if you know that the blame doesn’t lie with them, it is important to tell your partner the bad news as kindly as possible and definitely face to face – no one deserves being dumped by text. However, you must be firm. Yes, make it about you rather than them to be kinder, but also to make it harder for them to then insist that they will then change to accommodate you- don’t give them chance to plead.
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