Have A Ex Boyfriend To Be With - Get A Commitment
Jenny had a problem with her ex boyfriend. In order to repair the relationship, she needed him to understand that she required real commitment.
Brian was extremely afraid of committment. He would get really serious with her for a while and then back off and say they should see other people. This had happened three times and Jenny was tired of saying Brian was her boyfriend and then her ex boyfriend. To get back together this time would require something more.
Jenny reflected on what she desired and developed a two-goal plan.
To start, she decided that they could get back together only one more time. If Brian freaked out again then Jenny would move on and forget Brian. Brian had to be really serious this time.
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But the second prong was just as important. Jenny realized that part of the problem was hers. She always pushed to intensify the relationship too soon. Brian always agreed at the outset, but then only after a couple weeks he would feel stifled and want more time alone.
{She decided now that Brian needed to be in charge of how fast things went}. She wouldn’t pressure him to make commitments other than not seeing other women. That’s it. She wouldn’t require anymore from him.
When she explained her plan to her ex, to go out again with the understanding that he would set the pace, Brian was quite interested.
Brian, being like most guys, needed to be the pursuer. When Jenny controlled the pace, she stole away his power to pursue her. He found that he felt both emasculated and suffocated at the same time. So, Jenny cut way back on how often she called. She left the calling up to Brian. She stopped deciding what to do when they went out and allowed him organize things.
She found that at first they didn’t go out as much as she would wanted. And, their dates were less “creative” than they would have been had she planned them.
But, she also discovered that the time they had together was more precious than it was before. Brian no longer felt as if he was out of his element when he was together with her. And, he didn’t need to take “breaks” from her. Jenny first needed to decide what she desired. She knew she wanted Brian and she knew she wanted him full time.
But, she also had to find out what Brian needed. He needed to have space and he also had to be in control of the relationship. Even though she is a progressive woman, Jenny realized that this was important to Brian.
Soon, Brian was no longer an ex boyfriend. In order to get back with your ex, find out what you need and what he desires. Then deliver.
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