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Controlling Anger and Saving Your Loving Relationship

November 8th, 2009

How do you express your anger?

  • Your get “Hotheaded” and more intensely cursing and throwing things
  • You do not show anger in loud ways but you are chronically irritable and grumpy
  • Or constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments

The choices above simply shows that you have not learned how to constructively express  anger. Beacuse of this lack of means,  isn’t likely to have many successful long term relationships, simply beacuse there is no way to vent this anger, it only accumulates.
It is hard to express anger in a controlled manner. The tendency for most is to explode and rant on.
To some extent, you can do things that will take your mind off the anger.
But is walking out of the situation a healthy way? It could be a temporary measure but it is still important to express your anger and address it properly because if not, it will pile up inside you.
Why it is necessary to express your anger? If your anger is not allowed as an outward expression, it can turn inward—on yourself. It can create problems like getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why. Or displaying a personality that is hostile and cynical. Worst-Case scenario would be : hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Here are some simple ways to control your anger :

  • By expressing you can say what your needs are, and how to get them, without hurting others.
  • You can suppress your anger by converting it into a more constructive behavior or redirecting and focusing on something positive.
  • You can calm down by controlling your inward and outward behavior, let the feelings subside to avoid health related problems

Remember that anger is a completely normal, human expression of emotion. It can turn into a destructive, unhealthy situation when it gets out of control.

Give yourself the opportunity to express anger in a safe way, without hurting anyone else. Try to forgive the person who wronged you.

Neil Warner

PS: Need Results fast? Visit: Positive Conflicts, And get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts: Transforming Confrontations into Relationship Harmony,”

You may also want to check out : Anger Management On Line for your online anger management class

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Dealing with Uncontrolled Anger

October 23rd, 2009

Is it any wonder that your strong emotion of anger may hurt, destroy, and poison a good relationship?
Can you overcome your anger, instead of constantly being overcome by it? Yes- if you start changing your attitude in mind. You must stop making an excuse for your negative temper. You must bear in mind that anger is your enemy!
Uncontrolled anger can be very devastating. It can reveal your true nature. Although it is an expression of extreme negative emotion, it shatters relationship and breeds violence.

Is It Good To “Let it Rip?”

If you are using this excuse to hurt others, what you do not know is that it escalates anger and it does not help to resolve the situation.

To solve the problem of anger you must recognize the anger within your mind. You must learn how to control your anger by applying practical methods in your daily life.

To stop your uncontrolled behavior, you must know its symptoms. You will learn how to recognize them and stop it at an early stage before it gets worse.

Here are the symptoms of uncontrolled behavior:

  • Always thinking about detailed plans to commit acts of violence
  • Threatening others
  • Failing to acknowledge the feelings of others
  • Feeling rejected
  • Withdrawal from friends
  • Loss of temper

So what is the best solution?

You should find out what causes your rage and when you do, develop strategies to control your anger.

You may also want to ask yourself these questions :

Is your anger important or reasonable enough?

Is it possible that you make the situation complicated?

Some ways to help you control your anger:

Anger Management can help you learn to control your reactions or get rid of the things that enrage you

  • Simple relaxation tools can calm down angry feelings such as deep breathing, yoga-like   exercises, visualization of a relaxed experience
  • It helps if you change your environment where you can have a fresh view of things and get away from the usual and irritating place.
  • Choose less hurtful words and don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, think carefully about what you want to say.
  • Humor can be used to help you face your problems more constructively. Don’t use sarcastic humor because it will still escalate anger
  • Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
  • Anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational so always remind yourself that you’re just experiencing some hard times in your life.

Every problem has a solution. But the best mentality is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions

PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts
You may also want to check out this online anger management class

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Don’t Let Anger Destroy Your Relationship

October 3rd, 2009

It is a fact, that no matter how successful you are, your happiness would still not come from money nor fame but from the relationship that you build around you.
Experience tells you that It’s not easy to build a lasting relationship. Some things happend beyond expectation and you find yourself unable to maintain your relationship.
One of the hindrances in loving relationships is anger. Anger is a powerful emotion. It is one thing that is going to do some damage whether you choose to express it or hold it.
What if you have ever loved someone who was angry at the world? Can you imagine what your life would be like in the years to come?
When one becomes really angry it creates a need to try to control everything. The effects of being angry is the damage done to the relationship. The effects of anger can progress from mild irritation, to yelling or maybe physical abuse.
You may argue or fight intensely.

But ask yourself:
Does this help your relationship?

Here’s some facts about anger and how it can destroy your relationship:

  • - If anger comes into the surface, it creates drama and crises in the situation, and lingers long after it leaves - It is fueled with a lot of negativity that it can quickly destroy a relationship that as been positive or good for a long period of time.
  • - Anger can affect self-esteem and confidence.
  • Anger can affect anything especially love, self esteem and trust.
  • Anger is full of uncertainty and fear, it makes you say and do things that you will regret.

Too much anger in your relationship can affect the intimacy between you and your partner.Because being in a critical situation will make you unhappy and cause more ill feelings towards your partner and eventually would destroy your intimacy.
Intimacy is delicate, once destroyed by anger, it affects trust and honesty. Harsh words, criticism and non-acceptance are the causes of anger and it can destroy a loving relationship.

Anger results to negative feelings.

Intimacy vanishes in a relationship if there is constant blaming and criticizing.

Accept and understand eachother to protect a truly valuable emotional bond that you have invested. Do not allow yourselves to erupt without talking what should be done to make things clear. Find ways to discuss things in a peaceful manner.

To your happiness!
Neil Warner,

PS: To know more on Anger Management,
Visit our Site “Positive Conflicts


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Problems of anger

August 8th, 2009

In the life we live we get to feel a large range of emotions.Emotions that are beautiful and emotions that aren’t as nice to look at.

Some of those emotions can affect families and relationships.Sometimes those experiences of emotion can cause problems with jobs or other social interactive occassions. 

One of emotions that needs to be addressed is the issue of anger.  Specifically using anger managment to control it.

One of the bad results would be more violence.When you are viewing a movie or tv show when the main character uses the anger to motivate them to fight back and win, it’s nice, but made to look better than it is.

Anger is that noble.  It is an emotion that needs to be handled through an anger management programs.Because left alone it can cause bad results.

There can be many reasons for the cause of it.Stress in relation to finances.Or it can be relationship problems.  It could be from many causes.But one thing is certain.Anger has to be controlled.  You need to find anger management techniques that will work for you.

Anger can produce bursts of yelling.Or worse yet, if you are in a marriage, it can damage your marriage.  Sometimes the anger gets so bad that a breakup would be ideal.But of course sometimes there will be the occasion that the anger is so bad that it causes violence.  There are too many cases of domestic violence.

That is why it so important when dealing with anger.By finding effective techniques and ways to fight this emotion, many problems will be avoided. 

Not confronting it can lead to broken relationships.  It can lead to problems at work.  It could lead to problems socially.  All of this problems can be avoided by using anger managment to control it.

So if you feel you are having these issues, seek help.  Don’t let this emotion get the best of you.Treat it immediately.

Whether or not you do it with a counselor.Or whether you come across some techniquse in a book.Treat it.

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