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Posts Tagged ‘couples therapy’

Can marriage counseling really help

September 28th, 2009

One of the concerns of most couples is if counseling can be helpful to their marriage. Whether it is with family problems.Or with a personal problem.  Or in the case we are talking about relationship problems  that is a valid question.After all do you know someone who wants his/her problem be known by other people.And you also have to spend money for it.

We are going to look at how counseling can help relationships in this article.  Best part of all this is coming from case study experiences in real life practice as a San Diego marriage therapist services.I hope that experiences as a counselor will be able to help you decide if marriage counseling is helpful to both of you or not.

Of course my counseling isn’t just limited to the marriage arena.There are also non-married couples who seek help. With that my couples therapy San Diego practice can also help them as well.

So if you think it can help you and your partner both of you must agree first on some things.First thing both of you should agree on is that both of you should want this counseling to work. If one of the parties involved does not really want this to work then no kind of counseling can help.But it can really work if you have two persons who really want this to work.

Second thing that is required is for both of you to be open.  A good family counselor San Diego will be able to show both parties how to communicate better. They will be able to provide techniques that will help them do this.Because being able to communicate is where resolving the differences depends on.Counseling is of no help as long as the couple is not open to learning to communicate.

Those will be the things that you should check if you are still deciding whether to undergo counseling or not.  If you can meet that criteria, counseling may be for the both of you.  If you can’t, there isn’t any kind of counseling that can help.

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Undergoing relationship counseling decisions

September 20th, 2009

The decision in any couples relationship to go to marriage counseling is tough. It is a decison where a couple’s private will be made public because the counselor must know all of their problems.It is hard to do it because of that. But going to marriage counseling can begin the process of rebuilding a relationship.A broken relationship can be healed.A relationship that was on the brink of divorce can be restored.

In this article you are going to get opinions I have gained as a San Diego marriage therapist.Opinions that can be helpful in reviving broken relationships.Because any help for something important like a relationship is appreciated.  It is too important to let things get out of hand.

In life there will be instances and times when a couple will just start arging and fighting.There are several reasons that results to this.But there are a lot of reasons why and giving one reason is not good enough.  That is why good couples therapy San Diego can help the couple find out what are the issues.A good counseling session can help the couples understand their relationshp in a better way.Making better decisions is also one help of marriage counseling.

The goal of any counseling or anybody that comes to my family therapist San Diego office should be to help them understand the problems.Because if they can’t understand the true cause of their problems then they won’t be able to resolve their conflicts.By understanding their problems they can go through it well.  They can gain a better sense of understanding and intimacy.  They build a stronger bond between them.

They can begin to learn skills which can be beneficial to their realationship once the couple already have that understanding. Skills that will be helpful in solidifying their relationship.  By developing these skills it builds a good foundation for any future problems.  This allows them to iron out any differences rather than fight over them.  This is what successful counseling can do for a marriage.

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Advice and couples therapy

September 16th, 2009

One of the hardest things for us humans to do is ask for help. It really isn’t important what the problem was.  Most of the time we want to try and figure things out.That includes any problems with relationships we have.But when you are talking about something as important as your relationships, there will be times you have to.

I have seen from my experience doing couples counseling in San Diego the results of people who didn’t want to ask for help.I witnessed many relationships get ruined.  Broken lives for the two people.  The sad part is a lot of times if they just sought out counseling it could have been prevented.

So why is it so important to seek some counseling for relationship problems. Because in reality, there is anything that really is as important as the relationships we have. It can be your girlfriend or boyfriend.Or it can be your loved one in a marriage relationship.If you allow the problems to get out of hand you could be permanently ending a wonderful relationship.  I have seen couples marriages end as a San Diego marriage therapist by not seeking help. 

The fact of the matter counseling can help.It allows both parties to hear somebody neutral.It provides the couple someone who can give an opinion that is neutral to what is going on.This party who is neutral is usually enough to help the two of them start to see what the problems could be.  Being able to see what the real problems are is just the beginning.But that step is very important to fixing the problems if that is whay you want.

So if this relationship is something of importance to you, you must do all you can to save it.  Don’t let the heat of the moment get the best of you.But by going out and getting some good counseling, you can figure out a lot of the problems.  And when you are dealing with something as important as a relationship you should try everything.

From my experience as a family therapist San Diego many relationships can get fixed with some good advice.

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Trouble signs for couples

September 7th, 2009

All is far in love and war.What can that saying really be saying?Are they implying there may be something similar between the two?  I am not sure if that is what they are saying but there are similarities between the two.

The similarities between the two I think are when that love becomes war.There may still be love between the couple but a lot of times they will act as if they are in a war.  I have seen this first hand doing couples therapy San Diego.  A once loving couple is now fighting constantly.  It is my goal to bring peace to the two.And reclaim that long lost loving relationship.

So what are some signs that trouble is brewing?One of the warning signs that is a huge sign is the lack of communicating.  Or should I say lack of communication.For all relationships, being able to communicate is critical.Since it is so important, if in your relationship you start to see that you are not being able to communicate it is a sign.  It is a warning sign of trouble.  Whether I am doing couples counseling or  marriage counseling in San Diego I see it all the time.Because if you are not able to communicate effectively, any small thing can turn into a huge problem.Being able to communicate effectively helps to prevent that.

So as a family counselor San Diego one of the biggest things I do is try to teach the couple how to communicate.One of the biggest secrets to effective communicating is being able to listen.Most people when they think of communicating think it is about talking.But truthfully if you are unable to listen very well, you won’t really be able to understand each other.  So by helping the couple listen better their communication improves greatly.

By recognizing this sign couples can know trouble may be brewing.  If a couple is able to recognize this in their relationship early they can avoid problems. From what I have witnessed, the optimum way to solve some problems is to completely avoid them.  But if not recognized early, best way to solve them is to learn how to communicate.Sounds elementary but it can and will have a positive effect.

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Signs couples should look for in a relationship in trouble

September 5th, 2009

All is far in love and war.What can that saying really be saying?Are they presuming that the two are very similar?  I am not sure if that is what they are saying but there are similarities between the two.

The things that are the same I guess are when the two turns from love into war.There could still be love for the two of them, but they are usually in a battle like it is a war.  I have seen this first hand doing couples therapy San Diego.A couple that used to be in love now is a couple in a constant fight.  It is my goal to bring peace to the two.And reclaim that long lost loving relationship.

So what are a few signs of trouble to look for?  One of the biggest warning signs is communication.Or should I put it this way, no communication.For all relationships, being able to communicate is critical.  Since it is key, if as a couple you start to sense less communication that is a sign.It is a sign or warning of trouble.  Whether I am doing couples counseling or  marriage counseling in San Diego I see it all the time.  After all if you can’t communicate, every little thing can become a big problem.Being able to properly communicate in a relationship helps to stop that.

So as a family counselor San Diego one of the biggest things I do is try to teach the couple how to communicate.One of the keys to unlocking the ability to communicate is the ability to listen.Most people when they think of communicating think it is about talking.But truthfully if you are unable to listen very well, you won’t really be able to understand each other.So by teaching the couple how to listen more effectively, the communication between them will improve greatly.

By recognizing this sign couples can know trouble may be brewing.Now if the couple can spot this problem early in their relationship, they might be able to avoid some serious problems. From my experience the best way to solve problems in a relationship is to avoid them.But if you don’t notice it early, the way to solve it best is to learn how to effectively communicate.Sounds elementary but it can and will have a positive effect.

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What you can do to improve a relationship

August 24th, 2009

One of the great things we experience in our lifetimes is the relationships we have.From the wonderful experiences of family relationships to love relationships it is great.But a few times good relationships can turn bad.  What was once a source of joy and excitement can become hard and painful.

I have seen this first hand helping people in couples counseling San Diego. What was once a promising relationship becomes antagonistic.  What was once looking like a bright future now is so bleak.  What happened and what can be done to change it?

That is a huge question and one that will be difficult to answer.Most relationships that have problems are going to be different.  But my experience as a marriage counselor San Diego has shown me there are methods you can use to bring out good solutions.

One of the things that is helpful to them is by giving them a safe place to talk.In general when you try and fix the fighting in your own home for some reason it doesn’t work.By proving a safe environment for them they are able to feel comfortable and safe which allows them work things out easier.

Another benefit for the couple is that extra person will be another ear to hear them out.  But not just an ear but an impartial ear.  An ear that will listen to the issues and address them impartially.  Doing that can work wonders.  That third person can address the issues apart from a heated argument.When a couple is in the heat of the argument and they try to fix it, it usually won’t work.

Another thing that the couple can be helped with is by teaching them how to listen to each other.  In my practice doing marriage counseling San Diego, I help them develop these skills.  These skills help them hear each other out rather than always trying to win the point.

By implementing this, they are more able to tackle the issues that face them. Doing these few things in a rocky relationship can work wonders.  I have seen it first hand as a marriage counselor.

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When to Turn to Marriage Counseling

July 30th, 2009

Marriage has been described as a sacred union.  As it should be.  After all, when a happy couple say “I do” they are agreeing to be with each other till death do them part.Even when times get bad, during sickness and poorer.

Notice I left out the health and richer part.Because those times are usually the easiest often times.

But whatever the situation, if you are having marriage troubles, keeping the marriage healthy and happy does become a struggle.  It is during this time a family therapist San Diego might be the best option.

Because if the problems start to happen too often, it will probably be headed to a divorce.Problems like having fights, no trust, loss of intimacy, hating each other, etc.

When you have these things happening, the best thing a married couple can do is find a marriage therapist.  why?  Because although a couple may not feel like it is, most marriage therapists have seen it all.  And it is that experience they can draw upon to help the troubled marriage.

So how come marriage counseling works?  Well I would like to share some insights from my experience as a San Diego marriage therapist.

Several factors starting with safety.  A good therapist is able to provide the troubled couple with an environment that a couple can feel safe in.  An environment that is not the norm where all the fights happen.

This stops the angry or hysterical outburst that happens when they are in a familiar environment.

Second, as we told you earlier, this is not something new to them.  This allows the therapist to share whether or not what the couple is going through is normal.

Third, they can help with communications.Often that is one of the huge reasons for a troubled marriage.When troubles start to happen, the husband and wife will become defensive and communications at that point becomes difficult.  The therapist can help open those lines.

Fouth, the couples will be helped to better use problem solving skills.  Obviously, there are problems.And the more prepared the husband and wife is, the easier it will be to solve their differences.

Finally, they are able to help the married couple to better understand the situation.  They do this through helping them in listening, sharing feelings that may be difficult to express, and then interpret it all.

As you can tell, when their is trouble in the marriage, often the best way to fix it is through therapy.  If you find yourself in this type of situation, go seek help.  Take it from my experience doing marriage counseling San Diego.

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