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How to Save a Relationship: Easy? Not So Much. Possible? Absolutely. Here’s How in 5 Necessary Steps

September 13th, 2009

It doesn’t matter if a relationship is on the brink of disintegration or even if it’s after a break-up. It has been my experience that in most cases, it is still possible to save a relationship — once you practice some simple inter-personal skills. Regardless of the situation, there are definitely things that you can do to improve the relationship.

One quick note before continuing.

At the beginning of this process, it is very possible that you will be attempting to produce a change in the relationship all by yourself. I strongly advise that you accept doing this on your own first, and not ‘drag’ your partner into it. The improvement in the relationship will happen like a chain of events: your partner will realize your transformation, and will follow suit. This is how to save a relationship: by making willing choices about changing habits and improving how both commit and communicate.

But beginning this journey alone doesn’t mean you should feel helpless. There are quite a few recommended informational guides to help you, teaching you to detect and stop the emotional breakdown of your relationship. Check out my top choices: Best Guides on Relationships.

Now I will show you 5 do-able steps on how to save a relationship:

  • 1. Be the first one willing to make a change.

Relationships are based on trust, and if you make evident to your partner that you’re willing to change, there will be a better chance of healing the relationship.

Ok. But how do you know what to change? To answer this, here’s another related step:

  • 2. Practice seeing the tough situations from your partner’s point of view.

As far as how to save a relationship, this ability is essential, since it opens up other options and possibilities by enhancing your patience and awareness of the situation as a whole. Understandably, we tend to get caught up in our own points of view, and we forget that other perspectives have a lot to offer too. This is one of the fastest and most honest ways to heal your relationship: gaining perspective.

For direct access to proven methods that will positively transform your relationship, see:: Downloadable Tools for Stopping a Break-up.)

Next comes,

  • 3. Recognizing your part in the challenges that the relationship faces is the next important step.

Relationships have been saved by the single action of recognizing one’s contribution in the current issues. As you uncover different layers of the relationship that you hadn’t realized before, it may be time to begin communicating to your partner some of those discoveries.

Among the issues to be brought up: what your needs are, because if your partner is in the dark as to what they are, how can she/he even try to fulfill them? By the same token, you should inquire more about her/his needs, and how they can be met.

Communication is key. But it is well documented that how you express yourself is even more relevant than the content.

It follows that:

  • 4. Always do your best to practice respect towards your partner while discussing the relationship.

Avoid at all costs pleading, shouting, nagging, etc. These forms of expression will only increase the fracture in the relationship.

Keep in mind also that along with how to bring something up, you also should be aware of when to bring it up. The other person has to be ready for a discussion at that moment, otherwise it will not be a real discussion.

As far as communication is concerned, I recommend you review what may be the best collection of techniques to bring well-being to your love life: The Best Relationship Advice.

  • 5. I suggest that you seek some kind of accord with your loved one about specific action steps that you’ll both take.

In my experience, it is very likely to reach a mutual understanding on a lot of the problems in your relationship. The five steps I delineated are true relationship savers, so: be willing to change; practice seeing things from other perspectives; assume responsibility; be respectful; and commit to action steps! Your relationship will thank you.

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How to Save a Relationship Tips

May 7th, 2009

Jim works long hours and Lisbet does not feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs?  Can this relationship be saved?  Should it be saved?  Here’s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you should pin down the difficulty or issues in a relationship. One of the most important issues in how to save a relationship is that folks believe the indicators of the difficulty are the issue itself.

For example, many of us think an affair is a difficulty that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. As an example, a dearth of true intimacy can end up in a straying better half. Whilst  the majority study the affair as the difficulty, the underlying root of the affair was the absence of intimacy in the first relationship. If you don’t deal with the absence of intimacy, you could be in a position to keep another affair from beginning thru the application of guilt, but another problem ( as an example porn ) could pop up as you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to cope with core issues instead of symptoms, you are able to save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core issues, you can start to share your thoughts. This implies both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your better half’s concerns. Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your other half talks about things that hurt you remember that she or he isn’t doing it as he or she wants to harm you. Rather it is often because they need to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the issues in your relationship, create an action plan to resolve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you do not spend time together like you used to, plan a date night each week. Take turns coming up with creative methods to spend an evening together each  Wed. .If not communicating is the difficulty, commit to spending twenty mins before heading off to bed just chatting to each other. And, then do it.

Finally, you must notice that saving a relationship is a continuing process. You’re going to take 2 steps forward only to take one step back. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame. Be fast to say sorry and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving?  If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.

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Learn How To Save A Relationship Today

April 29th, 2009

In a relationship there is love, honor and respect. So, how to save a relationship?  The first step is knowing what is going wrong.

For this good communication is required.  You must share your feelings honestly with the other person.  Great relationships are made by a great team.  Its like a fifty fifty arrangement and both of you have to be hundred percent dedicated to the relationship.

All relationships will work only when you work hard, so you must be prepared for it.  No gains without pains.  If by chance your relationship is in danger and its your fault, apologize immediately.  Make mends immediately.  On the other hand if it’s the other person, forgive and accept their apology.   You must avoid revisiting the past.

People too often forget their manners once they are in a relationship. This is a mistake. Being thoughtful and considerate can go a long way in showing true concern for someone else’s needs and concerns.

Give your partner time, time to work through issues and deal with the relationship. Do not run away from issues, deal with them if your partner is not doing anything about them.

Talk, but not about problems and past issues.  This will make matters worse.  Above all do not take your issues to a third person.  But you can seek help from counselor and therapist. The game of “he said, she said” has ruined many relationships. Think about it and sorted it out within yourselves in the four walls.

Show each other love, honor and respect, and the mutual feeling.  Even traditional marriage vows say the same.  It is said in the bible “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. This is perhaps the most important to remember in saving your relationship. By following even some of these tips, you can save your relationship to a great extent.

I think you’ll find this article helpful too, if you did, I reckon you’ll want to read this as well:Save A Relationship

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How To Save A Relationship With These Seven Steps

April 13th, 2009

Joanne thinks Harry isn’t there for her, because Harry works a lot. Most of Joanne’s time is used taking care of her children and Harry is feeling like he is playing second fiddle. How can they save this relationship? Is there a need to rescue it? This is how to save a relationship.

To begin you have to decide if the relationship is worth preserving or not. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Sometimes people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or because of the kids. But that’s not all. Saving a relationship begins when both people commit to the relationship and decide together that it is something worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. That people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself is one of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship.

One example of a problem that leads to break ups is affairs. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. A lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse, for instance. Even though most think of the affair as the problem, the real issue is the lack of intimacy in the first place. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (an example being pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

After you’ve found the main problems, you start to communicate your ideas. This means saying how you feel, and listening to what your partner has to say. Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. It seems that they want to work on improving the relationship.

More on How To Save A Relationship

Once you have discovered the problems in your relationship, decide how to solve them. Next, make definite steps with your plan of action. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Come up with innovative ideas on rotation basis to experience an evening in each others company every Friday for example. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then follow through.

Lastly, you need to know that saving a relationship has no end date, it is a process that continues. In order to take two steps forward you will probably have to take a step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Apologize quickly and be slow to point blame.

Read More How To Save A Relationship

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