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What makes you a good enemy?

December 9th, 2009

Fighting or arguing is a part of any relationship. Conflict is inevitable for growth in your relationship. Even the strongest relationships can go through some tough times. Some relationships, if not carefully handled, can easily fall into pitfalls.
If you are in a big fight, you become an enemy in the eyes of your partner. Ask yourself: What kind of enemy I am?

Are you a good or bad enemy?

Do you avoid confrontation, escape from arguments or reject the opinion of you partner?
If you fighting your battles alone, fire against fire, or for your self-defense, or too lazy, proud or stubborn to admit things are not working right, that makes you a bad enemy.
A good enemy on the other hand, does not avoid any arguments. A good enemy listens and makes an effort to solve the conflict. If you have a strength of character and enough patience, you would be able to handle situations easily.

If you are able to do all of these, it simply shows that you are able to listen to the hidden content of the whole idea of arguing- you are able to determine what your partner is crying out for, the need for contact and the desperation for loneliness.

Signs of being a good enemy to your partner:
You always think about your partner’s feelings, if they feel good about themselves each day. - Be able to say an apology and break communication barriers - Praising your partner whenever they contributed something that helps your relationship - You acknowledge the problems in your relationship and helping you partner understand why it is important to discuss the problems. - You recognize and accept your shortcomings and think of ways for you to become a better partner - You treat your partner with respect and dignity at all times
You get caught in the stresses of daily living and dealing with a difficult partner makes it worse. but if you are able to deal with it, it shows that you have a skill of a good enemy.

The skills of a good enemy:

  • Be able to accept the things that your partner find difficult in your relationship
  • Deal with the problems in an calm and self-empowered manner
  • Even if your partner can be difficult, you are able to focus the positive energy that enhances the relationship
  • Be able to control your emotions, know when to stop and to say enough, and be able to make solid decisions
  • Willingness Negotiate a win-win soluton with your partner

You should always work through problems and settle it in a cooperative way. After all, you and your partner thrive in a mutual understanding and peaceful atmosphere. Your goal must be clear, that fighting is not to make you a bad enemy, but rather the opposite.

Is your relationship beyond repair? 
It may not be as bad as you think…as long as you still care.By applying the ideas we offer in the ebook, you will become a Positive Conflict agent, what I call being a “Good Enemy”!
Want to know more?

Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts

PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of ”The Art of Positive Conflicts

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Advice on getting back with your girlfriend

October 12th, 2009

It’s maybe one of life’s cruellest experiences to split up with the girl that you adore.  But, simply because you break up with the lady you love doesn’t suggest they are long gone.  When a couple splits up all may seem lost however if you truly love your ex girlfriend and want to get your girlfriend back, it is really vital to make the correct amount and sort of effort for them to offer you a second chance. 

Here follows some sensible tips on how to get your girlfriend back :

Whatever you do, avoid texting or attempting to contact your ex-girlfriend all the time, or appearing in all of the places where she’s probably going to be, or following her around like a lost puppy.  It’s a huge error to behave like a stalker.  If you do, you will definitely be pushing your girlfriend further away.  So to get your girlfriend back try to give your ex some space to consider the situation. 

During the time when you are giving your ex some space, it’s smart to allow them know that you still care about them.  Avoid being forceful, just gently make them mindful of your sentiments over a period. 

You must remember that this is essentially your relationship.  Because of this to get your girlfriend back you must stop acting on the recommendation of each one of your buddies.  It’s a sensible idea to get correct advice but the final decision is yours alone .  They may think their advice is in your best interest.  However, you’re the best qualified person to know how you can make the situation right between you and your girlfriend. 

What you do at this stage will determine if you are able to get your girlfriend back. Approach this situation with the proper perspective and you’ll see it turning out definitely for you.  Be optimistic and focus on enhancing the positives of your relationship.  Hopefully that the above tips on how to get your girlfriend back will help you to get your ex back in your life and make your relationship stronger and stress-free for a long time to come.

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